The Worst Money I Ever Spent

A tutu, on the other hand, is always a good idea.

I just wrote an article about the best money I ever spent, and so I thought it was only fitting to write an accompanying piece about the opposite. Because (spoiler alert) I like matching.

Disclaimer: The grammatical errors in this and other articles on my blog are intentional. I want my readers to get to know me and my personality, so I write prose that mimics how I would express my thoughts were I telling them to you over lunch rather than typing them. 

1. Christian Louboutin shoes

Like many an LA girl before (and inevitably, after) me, one of the first "designer" shoe purchases I ever made was a pair of black CL So Kate pumps. Because they go with everything. Because the heel is so tall and skinny. Because everyone else had them.

Here's the truth: Loubs are the most painful shoes available at Saks and, due to their soiled reputation as the footwear of choice for call girls, are barely considered designer. More truth: no matter how many times you argue that the So Kate is the last pair of shoes you'll ever need, we both know you are going to buy more shoes. And once you do, you'll never wear your Loubs again. Save yourself the time, money and inner monologue by taking a pass on these.

Worth it: Chanel cap-toes

2. La Mer products
La Mer products aren't bad. They're actually pretty good and feel lovely on the skin. They're just not worth the hype. Long coveted as "miracle creams," they developed a reputation that was impossible to live up to. If you have great skin already, you many enjoy La Mer. If, like me, you're always nitpicking about something that may or may not be entirely all in your head, clinical products are a wiser investment.

Worth it: Lancer products

3. Nars Orgasm blush
As much for its name as for it's supposedly universal shade, this is unarguably the most famous blush in the world. I bought it. Then I bought the super orgasm shade because it was sparkly. Then I came to my senses and tossed both of them because they don't actually look good on me. Why buy a shade that looks "ok" on everyone when you can find the perfect shade for you? Your blush doesn't have to look good on everyone. It only has to look good on you.

P.S. Sharing makeup is gross.

Worth it: Highlighters from brands like Smashbox, Tom Ford and yes, Nars,

4. Lip plumper
They irritate your skin for a few minutes so you feel like you're lips are looking fuller when they might actually appear the opposite. By the time you step out of the door, the product has stopped tingling, but thanks to the light breeze, it's now stuck in your hair.

Worth it: Juvederm

5. The steak at Mastro's
I'm not a foodie, and I really can't tell the difference between the taste of a NY strip or a ribeye or a filet. I don't even like steak that much. But I used to live by the rule that when at a steakhouse, eat steak. But why? Why can't I just fill up on pretzel bread and mac & cheese before moving onto dessert? You don't have to eat steak at a steakhouse. You don't have to order the signature dish. You don't even have to order an entree at all. You're paying for it, so you might as well eat what you like.

Worth it: The buttercake at Mastro's

6. Domestic first class
Flying sucks. Even if it's first class. Even if it's private. It is the worst. And if you're flying domestic, flying first isn't that much better. There are exceptions, of course, thanks to Delta One and the arrival of all-first-class planes, but is it really worth the expense? No.

Real talk: Nobody flies first class. Instagram lies. It's crazy expensive and completely impractical. Buying an economy ticket and then upgrading for cheaps when you check in makes sense on a cross-country flight.  Splurging so you can enjoy an average meal and an average nap? Not worth it.

Worth it: International business class

7. Diet pills, shakes, bars, etc.
Honey, you just have to eat less. And seriously, who ever needs to eat a bar?

Worth it: B12 shots

8. Laser scar removal 
Some laser treatments are miraculous. Others, not so much. A girl like me can spend a lot of money on treatments she hopes will have a serious impact, only to be disappointed when three sessions go by and the scar looks exactly the same. The bottom line is: Go to a good practitioner, and trust them when they give you advice. The doctor I saw for laser scar removal told me that the treatment probably wouldn't have much of affect on my particular scar, but I was so desperate to get rid of it, I had her go through with it anyway. A great dermatologist knows what your skin needs better than you do. Listen, and don't waste your money on false hope.

Worth it: Laser hair removal

9. Gel pedicure
A regular manicure chips whenever I so much as look at it, but a pedicure lasts through nuclear warfare. Nevertheless, one time I got a gel pedicure just because I wanted my toes to match perfectly with my fingers. That was dumb. Now, I just take an extra five minutes while I'm waiting for my tech to find  a good gel/ regular polish match.

Worth it: Gel manicure

10. Workout clothes that aren't black
There was once a time when I owned literally item of clothing at the Nike store. I love Nike, and I work out (or put on workout clothes in hopes I'll be motivated to work out) every day, so it made sense to me to buy outfits in fun colors and prints. Then I realized that I look bad enough with all the sweating and the makeup-less-ness and the squatting; I don't need to make it worse on myself by wearing neon yellow and polka dots. Plus, if putting on workout clothes gets you closer to actually working out, why not make putting on workout clothes easier and more appealing by buying a monochrome wardrobe in which everything matches everything?

Worth it: Simple black leggings that go from gym to errands to lunch

11. Socks that aren't black, and all the same
I've always been good about laundry, even the folding part. But socks-- I'd leave socks in a pile for as long as possible because pairing socks is one of the great banes of domestic life; and don't even get me started on how dirty white ones look after one or two wears. I know some socks may "enhance your run" and others might be "no-show" and others have toes, but search inside yourself and ask, how much happier would I be if all my socks were the same?

Worth it: The store's entire stock plain black ankle socks

12. Most of my clothes that aren't black
I love color. Love color. And leopard print. Leopard is everything. Still, was my hot pink Dolce & Gabbana mini dress a wise purchase? No comment. Much as I love them, I would have gotten a lot more wear out of my colorful and/or printed pieces if I'd bought them in black. Knowing this, will I be more prudent in future clothing purchases and stick to neutrals? Eh, probably not.

Worth it: The perfect designer LBD

13. Cheap clothes
For years I had a habit of buying something trendy at Zara, soon regretting it and vowing not to ever shop there again, buying something trendy at Mango, soon regretting it and promising myself I'd never enter that store again, buying something at HM and, soon hating myself for it and writing a blog post about how horrible cheap clothes are. On the one hand, a girl might think she's saving money by getting trendy clothes at Forever 21 instead of Intermix, but on the other hand, why do you need trendy clothes? Karl Lagerfeld says trendy is the last stage before tacky, and all the more so if your trendy clothes are fraying at the seams. Occasionally, you can find cute stuff at these stores, but it's still not as cute as what you can find for a lower price on the sale racks at Intermix, Madison and Planet Blue.

Worth it: A real leather jacket, a classic white button down, any quality wardrobe staples from good brands such as Rag & Bone, Iro, Cinq a Sept and Alexander Wang.

14. Acne treatment
Adult acne and teenage acne are totally different monsters. And at any rate, treating zits isn't the ideal solution when you can prevent them. Especially as an adult, breakouts are caused mostly by skin sensitivity, bacteria or hormones. Conveniently, the best way to treat this is with the same products that prevent aging: retinol and glycolic acid. So stop buying acne treatment. What you need is a product to exfoliate the skin, a product to cleanse the skin, and a product to protect the skin. That's it.

Worth it: Peter Thomas Roth peeling gel, Philosophy Help Me retinol cream

15. Fake hair
One time I bought hair extensions only to find that my actual hair was longer. Another time I bought a wig for a Gatsby party before deciding I'd rather look good than on theme. Then there was the time I got fake bangs to try out the look before committing to cutting them for real. And so now, I have a pile of fake hair in my laundry room closet, just sitting there being all creepy and tangled. If you want to get your Ghalichi glam on with hair extensions, then go ahead and do you. But in my opinion, even Lilly looks better with natural locks.

Worth it: A haircut from Meche

16. Any New York show show/ tourist attraction/ night activity that is not Hamilton
Queen of the Night sucked.

Worth it: Hamilton. Whatever the cost. However long it takes.

17. Oribe Dry Texturizing Spray
I know it's a cult favorite, but I cannot abide the sticky, gross effect that this and other aerosol sprays have on my hair. Ever an advocate of touchable locks, I can find at least 40 products at Sephora I would rather put on my head.

Worth it: Powder dry shampoos

18. The Naked Palette
I'm picking on Urban Decay because of the popularity of their Naked eyeshadow palettes, but this one is about large shadow palettes in general. Don't get me wrong, the Naked palette is great and useful for shadow, brows and contour, but very few girls use even half of the shadows included on the palette. I only ever used three. The same is goes with large palettes I purchased from Marc Jacobs and Nars. The quality of these shadows is great, but if you don't use the whole thing, it's not worth the money or the space it takes up in your makeup bag.

Side note: No eyeshadow palette is worth the money if you don't know how to do your eyeshadow.

Worth it: Smaller 3-5 shadow palettes from brands like Dior, YSL and Hourglass.

19. A professional camera that's not the camera
Because iPhones take great photos now, a basic camera from Canon or whatever is pointless. My first real pro camera was a lower-end Nikon with which I purchased 55 and 35mm lenses. I watched all the tutorials and paid attention to lighting and angles and still, I couldn't tell much of a difference between the photos it took and those I took on my iPhone. And that was years ago. I use a great camera and lenses now, but I had to invest more money than I initially expected in order to get equipment that could beat my phone.

Worth it: Nikon D600

20. Almost everything I couldn't afford at the time
OK, sometimes it was worth it. Most of the time, however, it was absolutely not.

Worth it: Good credit, less stress, freedom.