50 Things Travel has Taught Me

Travel is the cure for fear, hatred and ignorance. 

Things I have learned on my travels:

1. Contrary to popular belief, the best airport in the world is not Singapore, it's Taipei.

2. The butler at your 5 star Bali resort earns about $3-400 a month. 

3. Londoners don't all talk like James Bond and Kate Middleton. In fact, practically no one sounds like that. Before visiting, watch the only way is Essex to learn the local tongue. 

4. Not everyone speaks English. Not even in Europe. Not even close. While you're probably ok with English alone in France, in Italy and elsewhere you will need to know a few basic phrases. 

5. You can't hail a cab in many European cities. You have to find a cab station. If you can't find one, don't wander around aimlessly. Get an Uber. Yes, there is Uber all over Europe.

6. Southeast Asia is not a tropical slum. Cities like Jakarta are fabulously sophisticated Metropoli, so don't pack for the beach. Dress as you would in New York. 

7. If Parisians, Romans, Monacans, Londoners or the residents of basically any European city are rude to you, the problem is you, not them. They’re not rude. They’re cultured, elegant and stylish. And they’re ignoring you because you aren’t. 

8. Coke Zero is really expensive in other parts of the world. In Monaco I  paid as much as the equivalent of $15 for a small bottle.

9. London does not have the best Indian food outside of India. Queens, New York does. 

10. The Burj Al Arab is basically a cheesy tourist attraction filled with people in gift shop t-shirts and overpriced food that's not that great. That said, if you find yourself in Dubai, you still have to go. (Tip: the only way in is with a room or restaurant reservation, and it will cost you BIG).

11. The undisputed best hotel in Dubai is the Armani, also undisputedly one of the 10 best in the world. Bonus: if you stay there, you can skip the line and get a private pass to the top of the Burj Khalifa.

12. The Statue of David is inside the Academia di Belle Arti di Firenze (Firenze is Florence), not outside in the Palazzo Vecchio. If you see the one outside, sorry, that's the duplicate. You have to buy a museum ticket to see the real thing. And see the real thing you must do. He’s falling apart so you should hurry.

13. Speaking of museums, the only way to visit any of them in Europe is with a guide who can get you past the lines. You have to book a guide for a minimum of 3 hours so it's expensive, but worth it, because you will otherwise spend at least an hour waiting. 

14. New York is the best city in the world. 

15. Sources you cannot trust for restaurant and hotel tips: Yelp, Eater and your concierge. Sources you can trust: Elite Traveler, Conde Nast Traveler, and me. 

16. There is not one single mosquito in Iceland. 

17. The Red Light District is not really a thing anymore. 

18. It's not called Ibiza anymore. And Ibiza's not really a thing anymore anyway. It's all about Marbella. 

19. In Spain, going to dinner at 10 pm is like going to dinner at 7 pm in the U.S. 

20. Monaco is ten minutes east of France and ten minutes west of Italy. Still, the language you'll here spoken there most is Russian. 

21. The world is not small. The world is very big. This applies to shopping as it does to everything else. So yes, there are things you can get in major European cities that you cannot find in the US, even online. So yes, you should go shopping. 

22. There is absolutely nothing to do in Portofino. Still, it should be on everyone's bucket list.

23. Italians don’t drink cappuccino after 11 am. So do as the Romans do and order espresso with lunch. Or Coke Zero.

24. You’ll have better luck finding a kebab restaurant in Berlin than Istanbul.

25. The Sagrada Familia in Barcelona— still unfinished— is taking longer to build than the pyramids. Still, it is one of the most magnificent sights in the world. Visit with a tour guide to skip the line. And go on Sunday to see another unforgettable sight happen outside.

26. Croissants are actually an Austrian thing. 

27. The Tour Eiffel is not a rusty piece of junk that doesn't match the city. The Tour Eiffel is among the most magnificent things on earth, and the first time I saw it, I could not stop crying. The best way to experience it is to make a restaurant reservation.

28. When popping around Europe, remember that you can also pop over to Africa. It’s only a 30 minute ferry ride from Spain, though I recommend chartering a plane from Barcelona to Fez. 

29. In Albania, nodding your head means ‘no’ and shaking it means ‘yes’. 

30. Fast food and quick meals aren't a thing in Europe. You will even have a hard time getting a coffee to go, though if you’re visiting, I hope you will want to sit in a cafe and enjoy it anyway. And expect meals to take two hours at least. 

31. This exception to this is Sweden. Swedish people love McDonalds. It’s as much of a thing there as here, and not just for tourists. 

32. Siestas are definitely a thing. 

33. China has only one time zone. 

34. Another thing China has: canned air. Seriously. Good gift idea. 

35. There is a saying in Thailand that you shouldn’t be afraid of falling coconuts because coconuts have eyes. But between you and me, you should be afraid of them because more people die of falling coconuts than sharks. 

36. Thai people also believe it’s bad luck to cut your hair on Wednesday. If you find yourself in need of a haircut on a Wednesday in Thailand, you’re SOL. They’re all closed. 

37. Valentine’s day is celebrated the 14th of every month in South Korea. Keep this in mind when making dinner reservations. 

38. You can ski in the Dubai mall. And you might as well, because there’s honestly not much else to do in Dubai. 

39. Customs differ throughout the Middle East— so try to think of it as many different countries instead of one unfamiliar lump of land. A few things are consistent though. For instance, don’t refuse of cup of coffee anywhere in the Middle East. Ever. Just don’t. 

40. In Qatar, gas is cheaper than water.

41. Six star hotels are not really an official thing. But they should be. For instance, the Baccarat and Park Hyatt in New York should have 6 stars to show how they make all the other 5 star hotels look like a joke. Most Park Hyatts should have 6 stars. Also all hotels named for fashion houses, such as Bulgari, Versace, Fendi, and especially Armani. 

42. Saudi Arabia has no rivers. Also no movie theaters. But there is plenty of Coke Zero.

43. Indian table étiquette calls that you only eat with your right hand. Ever. You know what to do with the left. Also drink your chai with your right hand. (Sidetone: That’s chai. Not chai tea. If you say chai tea, you are a goober who just repeated the same word twice, because chai means tea. Same with naan bread. Naan is bread. Or to make an American comparison: ATM machine.)

44. Ginza may be Tokyo's famous shopping district, but the shopping is much better in Harajuku.

45. Planning is pointless. Don’t even try to plan. Just go. And go with it.

46. Sunscreen. 

47. Travel teaches you as much, if not more, about your own country as it does about the ones you visit. 

48. We’re all the same. Everyone everywhere wants the same thing. Love, security, validation, hope for a better future. And the wifi password. 

49. You don’t need much. You don’t need a 6 star hotel, a plan, a reservation, a Louis Vuitton trunk full of shoes or tour guide. You only need your passport, your amex and a pony tail holder. 

50. Actually, all you really need in life and in travel is you. You can take care of yourself. You can amuse yourself. You can find a good local restaurant, read a map and pick up French. You are scrappy. You are smart. And now that you’ve traveled, you are informed and interesting. What’s more, having seen more of the world, you have more knowledge of who you are in it. Because cliche as it may be, finding yourself is a thing.

Photos by Lisa Richov | Skirt: Intermix | Earrings: Mercedes Salazar | Shoes: Giuseppe Zanotti